Saturday 8 December 2007

Santa’s Ho-down.

Love it or love to hate it, Christmas is well and truly upon us once again.

As a child, I used to get a frisson of festive delight as soon as the Coca-Cola adverts appeared on the telly. But it looks as if Mr Coke may now have to silence his red-suited, red-faced Santa Claus in order not to cause offence.



Father Xmases on the other side of the globe are being banned from saying “ho ho ho.” And for two equally amusing and equally ridiculous reasons.

Firstly, Aussie Santas working in shopping centres have been forbidden from hollering their conventional call of Christmas glee for fear of frightening children to death. Recruitment firm Westaff, which supplies hundreds of Santas around the country, says youngsters may be scarred for life by the aggressive, deep tone of the scary man in the red suit bellowing out this time-honoured greeting.

Nothing at all to do with the fact that they are forced to walk alone into a dark, spooky, little room to sit on a stranger’s lap and ask for a Transformer. God forbid you take sweets from strangers. But it’s perfectly a-okay in today’s world to take budget plastic toys off a potential paedo.

The other reason for toning down the jolly phrase is that it could be seen as offensive and derogatory to women. Now for those of you not up to date with the current parlance of American street slang, “ho” does in fact mean lady of the night. Now do little innocent 6 years olds really know what this means? Actually, they probably do.

As a result of this utterly preposterous proposition, Santas are quitting left, right and centre. The Ebenezer Scrooges of this world are attempting to change something so deeply ingrained in the Christmas tradition simply in order not to offend, scare or provoke. Please.

It seems that being politically correct has become an international obsession. It is at the top of everyone’s agenda, has everyone constantly tiptoeing on eggshells and has, quite frankly, got totally and terribly out of control.

I hope that parents and kids across the sphere stand up against this festive lunacy and let Santa have the last laugh.

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