Never in the right.

What do Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar and Prince William all have in common? The same thing as Ronald Regan, George Bush Senior and Bill Clinton. They are all left-handed.

In fact, the list of successful lefties is endless. Michelangelo, Rafael and da Vinci were all members of this elite club. And what of two of the best loved cartoon characters the world has ever known, Kermit the Frog and Bart Simpson? Yup, you guessed it, both lefties. Jimmi Hendrix, Judy Garland, Einstein and Maradona. Ok, so Jack the Ripper was also left-handed, but then there’s always one.

For a while I had somehow managed to escape the previous torment, mental abuse and “cack-handed” jokes from those on the right side. Until Monday morning that is. My Pandora’s Box of painful memories was once again cruelly thrown open within the first minute of my first ever shorthand class. “It does not matter in the slightest that you are left-handed,” Mr Teeline cheerily chirped. Apart from the fact that I am totally incapable of using my elbow as an “anchor” whilst my forearm elegantly and effortlessly glides across the page, I moodily muttered. It was like being in Circle Time all over again, contorting my torso into ridiculous positions whilst sat at a right-sided tablet arm chair.

Unlike myself (left-handed just for writing) my sister is an unequivocal, unshakeable, unyielding purist of the leftie variety. Coming from a family where we were the only two left out, I would like to think that she copied me when it came to the handwriting. Unfortunately, she didn’t have the sense to make things a hell of a lot easier for herself by switching from the Dark Side for the rest of life’s tiresome little tasks. I used to giggle as she tried to cut out paper chains, cackle as she tried to peel a carrot and chuckle as she repeatedly smudged her inky letters (I curl my arm right around the world in order not to.)

But jokes aside, it seems that the world just simply isn’t built for us. Think scissors, fountain pens, doors, knives and my personal bugbears as a student, computer mice and highlighters. Oh, and did I mention the fact that according to scientists we are apparently at greater risk of developing breast cancer and psychotic mental illnesses such as schizophrenia. Magic.

But then I wouldn’t have it any other way. Parents thought, and in some places still think that they are doing their children a favour by forcing their innocent left-handed kiddies to use the right hand. This infuriates me beyond belief and could, I think, be potentially very damaging. Would you take little Jonny’s brain out of his head and switch the two hemispheres over? Didn’t think so.

Luckily, slowly but surely the world is becoming increasingly aware of the needs and rights of left-handed people. In his article Left Out, Mark King of The Guardian proudly declares that he has created his own “lefty zone” at work and schools are finally doing more to provide necessary versions of tools. So I urge all you southpaws out there to stand up and shout “I shall not be left in the corner.” Ultimately, we may be frustrated, ridiculed, accident-prone, ink-smudged, RSI afflicted individuals, but our heart is in the left place.